Saturday, December 26, 2009

Marriage, Depression & New Year's Resolutions

It is that time of year, the time of year that depression sets in for many. Shorter days, colder weather, large credit card balances from Christmas spending and maybe failed expectations from your loved one this holiday season. Time to reflect on the year and maybe your relationship/marriage has soured or isn't what you had hoped it would be and you just been trying to get through the holidays.

Well, just so you know, the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence. It is always greener where it gets watered.

Contrary to what many people believe, there is no such thing as a Mr. or Mrs. Right for us. Want in on a divine secret?

God puts people in your life for a reason, it is up to you to make the relationship Holy or allow Satan to tear it apart.

In in his book "Laugh your way to a Better Marriage," author Mark Gungor says:

“The truth is, a successful marriage is not the result of marrying the “right” person, feeling the “right” emotions, thinking the “right” thoughts, or even praying the “right” prayers. It’s about doing the “right” things -- period."


Nothing in the bible tells us that God has a chosen one for us. Why? As Gungor says, "Because He knows that His principles of love, acceptance, patience, and forgiveness work, and they work all the time, every time — no matter to whom you are married.”

I wrote a blog in October titled "Important Questions Jesus Asked Himself" that goes into depth of these same principles.

Ever want to become a priest or nun and devote yourself to the Lord? Well, marriage is even a higher calling. Marriage is a Holy union between man and woman instituted by God, it provides the framework to add more children to God's Kingdom.

Marriage will test your faith and be a testament of your faith to make it work. Why? Because marriage forces you to become more selfless and Christlike on a daily basis--being single doesn't. Marriage forces you to grow up and to think less about self. To make a relationship work, you have to be less self-centered and more Christ-centered.

But today's world seems to cut-and-run in relationships when the going gets tough as Gungor says: “Then the unwise voices of modern convention scream in their minds: ‘If things are bad, you married the wrong person.’ ‘It’s not supposed to be this hard.’ ‘You’ve made a mistake.’ ‘God doesn’t want you to feel unloved.’"

But any relationship is hard work and God has to be the center of it. Perhaps this scripture tells it best:

  • Proverbs 14:4: Where there are no oxen, the manger is empty, but from the strength of an ox comes an abundant harvest.
And where there are oxen, there will be ox poo.

As with anything in life, whether it be your job or marriage...

  • Colossians 3:23-24: Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

And marriage requires two people serving eachother for the Lord. I know that I want to be treated like a King. Not that type of King, like Christ who is the King. Wives, treat your husbands like Christ the King. Husbands treat your wives like Christ did the church.

Divorce - What did Jesus Say?

Mark 10:2-8: Some Pharisees came and tested him (Jesus) by asking, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" "What did Moses command you?" Jesus replied. They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away."

"It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law," Jesus replied. "But at the beginning of creation God made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one."

Mark 10:9: "Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

"Let man not separate." This means: divisive friends or family, marriage counselors that don't view marriage as a sacrament, greedy attorneys and the hard-hearted prideful spouse.

Advice From Christ

Luke 21:34-36: "Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you unexpectedly like a trap. For it will come upon all those who live on the face of the whole earth. Be always on the watch, and pray that you may be able to escape all that is about to happen, and that you may be able to stand before the Son of Man."

Can't think of a New Year's Resolution for 2010?

How about living a more Holy life and being more Christlike to those around you.

And judging from divorce statistics, make a resolution to work harder in your relationship and be a better parent and spouse.

  • John 13:34: "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another."

Its all Faith Plus Love. And when you have these, you have Hope.

A video I recommend, click HERE

Peace be with you,

© Michael J. Cox

No comments:

Post a Comment